Why do people get jealous?

This post is another one of my epiphanies, House moments.

Why do people get jealous?
Jealous people are very annoying. Yes, Ralph, I'm talking about you. Haha kidding.

To be honest, he really is a jealous guy. I remember months ago when we first started dating, he was like a dog who just gave birth. He gets jealous around my friends, especially guy friends. Though he lets me, he doesn’t like it when I hang out with them. Although out I'm like, “dude, chill. It’s not like I'm gonna make out with these people the second you turn around or anything”. Anyway, his jealousy never really started a big fight. Enough on that.

Being the total nerd and killjoy that I am, here’s my answer to the question:

According to evolution, life is about passing genes, keeping our species going and our genes surviving. Finding a mate therefore is a very important survival tactic because we get to pass our genes through our offspring with this mate. When another organism shows interest and/or attraction to a chosen mate, he/she thinks that the availability of that mate to be his/her mate is compromised, thus the ability to survive is threatened.

Nosebleed, Sig.

Okay, ulit.

Sabi, the meaning of life is to keep our species and genes surviving, thus finding a mate and reproducing is important. Let’s say you find that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with, watch sunset with, iron clothes for, whatever. The idea is that you are attracted to him/her. In evolution, you are most likely attracted to a person whose genes you’d like to be part of your child’s. (That escalated quickly, but yeah). Anyway if another organism flirts with your mate and asks him/her to have coffee this Wednesday, and if this organism is hot, you’ll feel jealous, like you’re going to lose your mate to him/her. At the back of your mind, you think that your bloodline will not contain those genes you wanted from the person you were attracted to if he/she goes out with the flirty organism. Also, simply losing the mate threatens your survival ability unconsciously.

My theory also explains why, usually, the first thing we’re mad at is the said flirty organism and not our mates when the phenomenon happens. It was the flirty organism who we think are threatening us and our survival, not the mate. That’s why when we have a jealousy issue with someone, when we our friends talk to us about it usually our first line is, “Si [insert flirty organism here] ano kasi eh”.

Another inference from this theory is that amoebas, germs and bacteria don’t get jealous because they reproduce asexually.